Surprised of ME!!!

I was afraid... afraid to begin something I didn't like... but that something is thing I have to do.

at that time, I struggled so hard... if it is possible I wish I could skip this thing and get over with it in one day... but reality didn't seem that easy. there were times when I think I would cry in any given moment just because this thing I have to do. and there was time when I actually cried over things I would have to leave behind to do what I have to do. really I just didn't want to do it.

and now, here I am... doing thing I didn't want to do. here I am... leaving behind things I love to do. and here I am, feeling alright and actually enjoying this thing, so far.  I write "so far" because being me and understanding how my mind goes up and down, I can't be sure of what will come in my mind next. but for now, I do enjoy doing this thing. I'm surprised of me!!! hahahahaha... maybe I was thinking too hard. maybe I just loved my life in Jogja too much. maybe I was just too afraid. well, it's not that easy here. but it's not that hard either. I still miss my life in Jogja but I don't hate mine here either. 

Just hoping I won't blow this little peaceful and meaningful life I have here with some stupid things I tend to do unintentionally...